God made machine language; all the rest is the work of man.
Be sure to evaluate the bird-hand/bush ratio.
                        Pittsburgh driver's test



        SLOBOL is best known for the speed, or lack of it, of its compiler.
Although many compilers allow you to take a coffee break while they compile,
SLOBOL compilers allow you to travel to Bolivia to pick the beans.  Forty-
three programmers are known to have died of boredom sitting at their terminals
while waiting for a SLOBOL program to compile.  Weary SLOBOL programmers
often turn to a related (but infinitely faster) language, COCAINE.
Did you hear that two rabbits escaped from the zoo and so far they have
only recaptured 116 of them?
Farmers in the Iowa State survey rated machinery breakdowns more
stressful than divorce.
                -- Wall Street Journal
THE LESSER-KNOWN PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES #18 -- C-
         This language was named for the grade received by its creator when he submitted it as a class project in a graduate programming class. C- is best described as a "low-level" programming language. In fact, the language generally requires more C- statements than machine-code statements to execute a given task. In this respect, it is very similar to COBOL. Having no talent is no longer enough.
-- Gore Vidal
Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgment.
-- Jim Horning 

Wombat's Laws of Computer Selection:
        (1) If it doesn't run Unix, forget it.
        (2) Any computer design over 10 years old is obsolete.
        (3) Anything made by IBM is junk. (See number 2)
        (4) The minimum acceptable CPU power for a single user is a
            VAX/780 with a floating point accelerator.
        (5) Any computer with a mouse is worthless.
                -- Rich Kulawiec



Green's Law of Debate:
Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about.
QOTD:
        "I tried buying a goat instead of a lawn tractor; had to return
        it though.  Couldn't figure out a way to connect the snow blower."
You will remember something that you should not have forgotten.
A figure with curves always offers a lot of interesting angles.
        "You say there are two types of people?"
        "Yes, those who separate people into two groups and those that don't."
        "Wrong.  There are three groups:
                Those who separate people into three groups.
                Those who don't separate people into groups.
                Those who can't decide."
        "Wait a minute, what about people who separate people into two groups?"
        "Oh.  Okay, then there are four groups."
        "Aren't you then separating people into four groups?"
        "Yeah."
        "So then there's a fifth group, right?"
        "You know, the problem is these idiots who can't make up their minds."
    Big book, big bore.
                -- Callimachus
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